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Vengeance
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Prue, you surprise everyone with your beauty, powers, grace and skills.
  
 
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Funny lines, season 1
« Thread started on: Oct 15th, 2003, 3:29pm » |
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Something Wicca this way comes
Piper: Hey, I have a great idea. Why don't I make a fabulous reunion dinner?
Prue: I'm not hungry.
Phoebe: I ate on the bus.
Piper: Okay, we'll try the group hug later.
Andy: Do you believe in UFOS?
Morris: Hell, no.
Andy: Neither do I. But do you believe there are people out there who believe in UFOS?
Morris: Yes. But I think they're crazy.
Andy: Then why can't you believe that there are people who believe that they are witches?
Phoebe: I forgot your question.
Piper: I asked if Prue would have sex with someone other than herself this year.
Phoebe: That's disgusting. (to Ouji board) Please say yes.
Piper: Nothing happened, right, Phoebe, when you said the incantation?
Phoebe: Well, my head spun round and I vomited split pea soup.
Roger: You look surprised.
Prue: I don't know why; I'm furious.
Roger: Prue, think about this.
Prue: Lousy job, lousy pay, lousy boss. What's to think about
Prue: I thought breaking up with you was the best thing I'd ever done, but this definitely tops that.
Roger: I hope there are no office supplies in your purse.
Prue: Phoebe, I do not have special powers. Now where's the cream?
The cream moves by itself from across the bar.
Prue: Really? That looks pretty special to me.
Phoebe: You know, I'm not afraid of our powers, I mean everyone inherits something from their family, right?
Prue: Yeah. Money, antiques, a strong disposition--That's what normal people inherit.
Phoebe: Who want's to be normal when we can be special?
Prue: I want to be normal.
Piper: Open your fortune cookie.
Jeremy: Okay. (reads the fortune) "Soon you will be on top."
Piper: It doesn't say that.
Jeremy: Yes, it does.
Piper: Let me see.
Jeremy: Is that a bad thing?
Piper: (reads his fortune) "Of the world." "Soon you will be on top of the world."
Prue: Don't you think you're overreacting? We are perfectly safe here.
Piper: Don't say that. In horror movies the person who says that is always the next to die.
Piper: Prue's right, what are we gonna do?
Phoebe: What can't we do?
Prue: We are going to be careful, we are going to be wise, and we are going to stick together.
Piper: This should be interesting!
I've got you under my skin
Phoebe:Is that guy at the bar staring at me?
Piper: A lot of guys at the bar are staring at you.
Piper: I hate being a witch.
Piper: By the way, um, Andy called.
Prue: When?
Piper: While you were in the shower.
Prue: What did you tell him?
Piper: That you were in the shower. Bad date?
Prue: No. No, no. Not at all. Uh, it was great. You know, dinner, movie...sex.
Piper: Excuse me? On your first date? You sleaze.
Prue: It wasn't exactly our first date, Piper.
Piper: High school doesn't count. That was last decade.
Piper: Prue slept with Andy.
Phoebe: Hello!
Prue: Thanks a lot, Mouth.
Piper: Don't put me in the middle.
Prue: I'm not. You were born in the middle.
Piper: (walks up the the church and is afriad that she will be killed b/c shes a witch and she thinks that makes her evil so when she opens the door ... she says) I'm good!
Prue: And I did write you a note, I just didn't leave it.
Thank you for not morphing
Prue: So we're agreed? 20 minutes?
Piper: Prue, you can't do a party in 20 minutes.
Prue: Watch me.
Phoebe: Prue's party tips: meet, greet and bail.
Prue: I'm sorry, but some of us have a job.
Phoebe: And some of us have fun.
Piper: And some of us are having a really bad hair day.
Prue: We've been through this. Cop, witch. It's not a love connection.
Phoebe: Boy, girl. Lighten up.
Phoebe: So what should we do?
Prue: Well, either we can rely on our viscious guardcat to protect us, or we could remember to lock the doors.
Victor: I was wondering when evil would rear it's ugly head.
Marshall: Consider it reared.
Piper: Wait a sec. Last week we had no dad, and now we have two?
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Vengeance
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Re: Funny lines, season 1
« Reply #1 on: Oct 15th, 2003, 3:33pm » |
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Dead man dating
Piper: Are you out of your mind again?
Phoebe: No, I'm the Amazing Phoebe.
Piper: This isn't funny. Our powers are supposed to be a secret, not a marketable job skill.
Mark: What happened?
Piper: I'm a good witch, remember.
Mark: But how?
Piper: I don't know, I panic, hold up both hands and bad things tend to freeze.
Prue : Hey, I'm practically naked here!
Mark : Aren't you scared?
Piper : Terrified. Trust me, that's a good thing.
Dream Sourcer
Phoebe: I'm no angel, I'm a witch. But don't tell my sisters I told you.
Piper: I give up. Two weeks and nothing's strengthened but my temper.
Hans: Mornin'.
Prue: Excuse me, but who are you?
Piper: Who cares?
Phoebe: Don't worry. We had safe sex. A lot of safe sex!
Piper: Eww.
Piper: (on phone) Prue Halliwell, please, it's her sister Piper.
Guy: You know you shouldn't have dinner with that guy.
Piper: Why not?
Guy: Because you should fly to Paris with me.
Piper: (on phone) Tell her it's an emergency.
Phoebe: You want a man who's single, smart, endowed—
Piper: Employed.
Phoebe: Oh, sorry. Employed. A man who loves sleeping in on Sundays, sunset bikerides, cuddling by a roaring fire, and late night talks. A man who loves love as much as you do. Wow, you're a romantic.
Piper: Yep. Your turn. You want the sexy, silent type that finds you driving through town on a Harley at three o'clock in the morning. A man who appreciates scented candles, body oils, and Italian sheets.
Phoebe: He's about hunger, and lust, and danger and even though you know all this, even though you know that he'll never meet your friends or share a holiday meal with your family, you still can't stay away. And he recycles.
Piper: Recycles?
Phoebe: Yeah. And I think it goes without saying that we both want a man who is well...employed.
Piper: You're seriously twisted.
Piper: Let's see, what else can I tell you? When I get stressed, I get hives in very strange places. Which is nothing compared to what happens when I panic, believe me.
Jack: Your honesty is so refreshing.
Piper: Well, it helps keep my ulcer under control.
Jack: It's the 90s. Is there anyone who doesn't have one?
Piper: Wanna see my tattoo?
Jack: Wanna see mine?
Piper: Uh, is there nothing I can say to turn you off?
Jack: There really isn't.
The wedding from Hell
Prue: Piper! Are you still in there?
Piper: (taking a pregnancy test) I'm almost done.
Prue: Define "almost."
Piper: Just give me another minute...or two.
Prue: You're positive?
Piper: I hope not.
Prue: Piper, I cannot be late today.
Piper: I know the feeling.
Phoebe: Am I in for a cold shower, yes or no?
Piper: At certain times in our life, a cold shower is probably a good thing.
Rex: Prue, your sister's here to see you. She's waiting in your office.
Prue: Which sister?
Rex: The one who upon seeing your office said, "d**n, I should go back to college."
Prue: Phoebe.
Grace: How are things in the kitchen?
Piper: Right on schedule. The lobsters arrive tomorrow, the hors d'oeuvres are ready, Chef Moore is in France, and the puff pasteries are baking.
Phoebe: Okay, I can't hold this in any longer. Your name isn't Piper, and that's the good news. You're really Hecate, Queen of the Underworld, you're pregnant with the demon child, which means I'm afraid I have to kill you.
Piper: What !?
Piper: I'm not pregnant. Trust me.
Prue: Well, that's good news.
Phoebe: Are you kidding? That's great news! You can live!
Piper: Stripper-eating bridesmaid ahead.
Phoebe: Keep walking.
Kirsten: What part of no did you not understand?
Piper: The non-original part.
Piper: At least you'll never greet your husband at the door with "Honey, I think I froze the kids!".
Prue: No, I just moved them to another zip code.
Phoebe: But I will see them, find them and bring them back safely.
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Vengeance
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Prue, you surprise everyone with your beauty, powers, grace and skills.
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Re: Funny lines, season 1
« Reply #2 on: Oct 15th, 2003, 3:34pm » |
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The fourth sister
Phoebe: Piper, am I a boyfriend thief?
Piper: Totally.
Phoebe: Besides Roger, who, again Prue, I never touched.
Piper: My boyfriend. Billy Wilson.
Phoebe: Billy Wil... Eighth grade Billy Wilson?
Piper: You kissed him at homecoming.
Phoebe: No, I did not kiss him at homecoming. I was helping him find a contact lens.
Piper: Oh, please. You were all over him with your breasts all... Whatever.
Phoebe: I didn't even have breasts back then.
Piper: Phoebe, you've always had breasts.
Piper: So it's not like either one of us has a problem finding guys.
Phoebe: Pfft. Please.
Piper: So if one of us got Leo, it'd be okay with the other one.
Phoebe: Absolutely.
Piper: So we can just consider this a friendly competition.
Phoebe: Sibling rivalry.
Piper: War!
Phoebe: Exactly.
Phoebe: (about Leo) Quite possibly the finest glutes in the city.
Piper: In the state.
Phoebe: In all the land.
Piper: I saw him first.
Phoebe: Uh uh.
Piper: Uh huh!
Phoebe: Uh!
Piper: Mayans? You know about Mayans. You certainly are a handy man aren't you?
Leo: So, does Phoebe work here too?
Piper: Phoebe? Work? No, no, no, no, no. She's probably at her gay and lesbian group right about now.
Phoebe: Leo, what did Piper say to you?
Leo: Ah, nothing. It's not important.
Phoebe: Well whatever she said you should probably take it with a grain of salt. Her medication makes her say the strangest things. But don't worry. Her shrinks are on it.
Leo: Shrinks?
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